Why Britain should take it all back.

There was a time, not so long ago actually, when Britain ruled most of the known world flogging natives, drinking tea and annihilating the French. However, following a rather nasty spate of violence called the World Wars (One and Two!) this all slipped away into obscurity, and Britain became the quirky little island in the top and slightly west bit of Europe.

Since then the former Imperial Colonies and Protectorates have crashed and burned, with those that did not join the commonwealth suffering from various dictators, and some of the African Commonwealth nations living in horrific poverty. India, you may argue has done rather well from their independence  but if you thought this, you would be wrong. India has horrific poverty, and is fit to bursting with an outdated caste system that only slows down the nation.

However, Britain is also in up the proverbial creek without a paddle, with a recession  a population of dribbling neanderthals hell bent on burning down London every time prices go up and the EU being total morons. Long gone are the days of national glory and pride, and instead we have ushered in an age of socialist idealism, where it is good to be weak and poor, in so long as we are all as weak and poor as everyone else.

So, heres the solution, we have a little meet and greet session with the commonwealth and former imperial nations, and join up, knock down all those nasty trade barriers, and then move on to better things. In return for a minute percentage of their tax revenues, our needy nations could gain access to British engineers and economists to help kick start their nations in the 21st century. Usher in a knew age of reason and science, human advancement, that would see England shedding it's ties with the EU, it's people happy and content, and its vassals nice and cozy beneath us, benefiting just as much as us from Imperialism.

Oh no! I hear you say, not the Imperial Menace, that only causes slavery, and horrifying hardships and unfairness! Oh no! I reply, the last 90 Years of the Empire was the longest period of peace and happiness ever in all of recorded British history. We have learnt from out mistakes ie: taxing the Americans  not giving Indians votes, so we wont make those same mistakes again.

As all you hippies and socialists say, Humans are supposed to work together, so why don't we, in a way that has worked time and time again for centuries, Imperialism.


Thank you, that will be all, as always hippes, feel free to comment ( you never do) and I will feel free to insult you.

Why stupid people should not be considered citizens in any form.

Lets face it, nobody likes idiots. They do not, in any way contribute to society, they are drains on our resources, time, and above all our patience. As such I think they should be rounded up and put to work for little or no money in mines and factory's.  We should draft every 5th idiot into the army, where they can lay down their pitiful lives for the glory of the state.

Idiot's by definition, are stupid, drooling morons, who have no idea how to use use that grey pile of mush that they have the cheek to call a brain. The only thing they can do is follow basic one word instructions, such as walk, open, close, carry, and die. This is why they should not be allowed to vote, live of benefits or have their views and opinions considered in any way.

Therefore they should be assigned a master, an educated person who can utilize them as "human resources". Maybe everyone who is intelligent could form groups, so you would have all the economists, all the historians of latin literature, all in different groups, each of them leading a factory, or something. Clever people, wealthy people who could put the small minded morons of the world to work, for the benefit of them and of course society in general.

Watch as the worlds problems dissolve, when we have a Roman and Greek system, whereby only those who have the wit to earn over a certain amount of money, have the right to decide anything. On a serious note, only those who pay into the system can decide how it is run. Maybe then the morons of the world would actually achieve something, other than wasting all our money on flat-screen TV's and narcotics.

Yes people, bring back the Plutocracy, put the educated in charge, and leave the idiots to what they do best, following instructions, working for the benefit of the state and of society in general. You may think its extreme, but it worked for the Romans, it worked for the Greeks, it worked the British Empire, so perhaps it would work today.

To conclude my post, I have attached these images, so all you intelligent people can identify a moron, and enact the proper judgement upon him.

.

Attached is an image of the superior classes, namely those with brains.

So, next time your out and about, and you see a moron, please, don't hesitate to relentlessly insult him, and rest safe in the knowledge that one day, we shall send him to the mines.

'Demo 2012'

Hopefully using this as a title will mean it gets a lot of views, thanks to the wonders of the Google search engine. However, I would take this opportunity to point out this blog post is actually about that which the title alludes to.

Last year a good few thousand students took to the streets of London, the Capital City on our Nation, a City that it is fair to say much of the world look's to, and is often seen in global news as a shining example of western civilization. London is one of the most successful cities in the world, so it is only natural that any protesters would use this location to rally as a good publicity stunt. I have no issue with free speech, in so long as it is done in moderation, and in an orderly fashion.

Of course, the NUS will tell you that it was intended to be orderly, but I disagree. It would take a total and utter moron to allow this to happen, by accident, on a rally you organised:

Just to clarify here, at which point was incinerating buildings supposed to be considered peaceful? At what point in the grand democratic peaceful NUS plan did it read ''Burn the Capital'. Maybe the plan was rather basic, and read as follows:

Plan for Rally 2011

1. Go to London on free bus travel, paying congestion charges and clogging the atmosphere with toxic fumes, regardless of our 'Green' policies.
2. Get out of buses, and have lunch paid for using our government grants.
3. Burn London
4. PROFIT

This plan, as succinct and concise as it is, was not very successful, as this year, they are going to go and do it all again! This probably shows to a human with a basic intelligence level that last years protests did not work. In fact, I remember England being a laughing stock for a good few weeks, as the rest of the world looked at our great nation, and saw that the people in higher education didn't like the tragic realization that they actually had to pay for it.

Its a really bizarre concept that this:

Actually has to be:

A) Earned,

B) Spent in return for other things (like a university education that will give you a massive boost into the job market)

I quite obviously get a lot of grief for going to a private school, as I had to pay for it, and that makes me posh. However, I remind all the students thinking of striking, you CHOSE to go into paid education (Uni) I was PLACED there by my parents. You CHOSE to have to pay for your education  so do not be surprised when the prices go up.

You cannot sit in your homes and rant about how the privileged should pay more tax, and then with your next breath get cross when your fee's go up. The very second you start paying for education  for a privileged that will advance you in the workplace, you fall into the Privileged bracket, and should be paying more as-well.

By all means, go out and protest, its your right in this nation. But the very second you start turning violent, you loose all right to have your views heard in my opinion. Here's some numbers for you:

5 Deaths,

16+ members of the public injured,

186 police officers, 3 PCSO's, and 5 Police Dogs injured.

So, before you all run of up to London and go 'on a march' look at the facts. Your better of paying your fee's in the current way anyway, its all in installments, so its cheaper by the week. Next time you think about going, look at the numbers before you riot and then call 'Police Brutality' last time 16 members of the public, who where throwing petrol bombs at the police where injured, compared to 186 police officers.

Anyone who goes to this rally is in my opinion an utter moron, who only wants to cause havoc. 

Next time you think riots would be a good idea:

Just look at that, and tell me what your doing is correct.

This is Aaron Newbury, one of the very few students who appears capable of using their brain to realize that rioting is not the answer.

Queue Jumping

This, is a line of people, otherwise known in the modern and civilized world as a Queue. Up until a few days ago I firmly believed that in England this concept of forming a line was sacred and holy. However, I was proven wrong when a few days ago as I stood in Starbucks holding a sandwich and a fist full of money a group of young women decided to prance past me in the queue, and smile and wave as they did so. The queue was long, but nobody else noticed, as they where males who decided that as the people who had decided to jump in front of us where female, they would not respond. 

This was not the case with me, and my inner posh fury bubbled up to it's highest level: Severe Indignation. I looked at the people and cut their childish giggling short as I erupted into the following speel:

"Excuse me ladies, but in case you have not noticed, there is a very long queue here, which you have just jumped. Are you aware how queues work? No? I guessed not. Allow me to explain. When you see a line of people, what you do, is get to the back of that line and wait, like intellgient human beings, worthy of being at a University. You do not lumber forwards, smiling and waving as you do so, in an attempt to form a dis-organised mob at the front of this shop."

One of the women-folk looked at me, and said "F*** off" this made me even more angry, and I replied:

"You are really not doing yourself any favors here. In response to a well worded argument  you tell me to F*** off, you really are lowest form of human life. Know, on behalf of everyone else in this queue, a concept you have yet to appreciate, take your things, and go. Come back later, when you have managed to develop something above the size of a pea inside that thing you call a skull"

Several members of the queue started to clap, as the group of horrified ladies left Starbucks to go and develop brains, one of them even apologized to me when they saw me later on in the day.

Mission accomplished ladies and gentlemen.

Socialists, Socialists everywhere

Today I had my first lecture and seminar, where I met the people I would be studying with for the next 4 years of my pitiful life. As I arrived at the Lee's lecture hall, I noticed it was full. Casually, I wandered in unafraid that I may have arrived late. I sat down as the Student Union told us how awesome they apparently were, and why we should all vote Labour. A part of me died inside as I realised I was the only conservative in the room.

As the lecture proceeded I decided to check my timetable, and to my horror noticed I was in the wrong lecture. A large chunk of me died. Half an hour later I was in a new lecture, the one I was actually supposed to be in. Realizing I was at last in an Economics group, I began to feel happy and warm inside. Then I released as the student Union hippie lady spoke, that this was actually a meeting for more socialists.

Having survived two lectures by socialist students, I went to my first seminar where I was greeted by a man asking me what school I went to. I responded saying to the Professor "I went to a private school" and it just so happened that I said this in one of those awkward silences that occasional sweeps a room. Naturally everyone heard, and I was judged immediately as being a posh, rich twat. This was probably a correct assumption, but I fear nothing, and my years of upper class training kicked in. I adopted a stiff upper lip, and sat back down.

Over the next few moments, the anti rich jokes came thick and fast, until I silenced them all asking one simple question:

"Why are you studying a finance course at University, if not to become rich?"

The silence was appealing, as my fellow course mates realized the tragic truth of my words. We have since reached a non-verbal, mutual agreement: I will not mention exactly why they are doing this course, and they in return will not kill me in my sleep.

I personally think it is a good agreement.

This is Aaron Newbury, reporting on his first day of uni!

University

The end is coming.

I have lived in the South West of England all my life, and for 12 years I have lived in the same small village, with the same two people, my Mum and Dad. 

The only time I spent away from this Village was in a foster home is Portsmouth, but we won't go into that (so ha!).It really feels strange to actually, finally, be moving away from it all. I go to university in 6 days and have my driving test in 5, so as you can imagine, its a pretty stressful week for me all round really. 

However, I am not worried about my driving test. Instead, I am absolutely terrified about going to university. No, really I am.Its a weird time to be in my head; there is an odd mixture of excitement and a little dash of terror running around in there. Questions buzz through my rather empty brain, what if I run out of money? What if I don't fit in? And what's going to happen?

But being me, I have adopted my usual ethos, and will just simply not care about it until I arrive. I wholeheartedly intend to turn up to my accommodation, and then invite myself into the homes of my neighbours. 

I am good at that; flamboyant spontaneity. I shall arrive at their homes, as there will not be many of us arriving on the day I do, and will do my best to introduce myself in my usual way.After all, if they don't like it, they can always keep it to themselves?

This brings me onto my other final point, something I remind anyone starting uni: Everyone is in that same boat as you. In my case, my boats probably a lot more bizarre than theirs, and lacks the life ring of having a social life (really, the highlight of my social life so far has been winning the egg and spoon race). 

But that's not the point. I am sure they are all as scared as me, and I can only help by arriving at their doors late in the evening. I mean who doesn't love the eccentric stranger who randomly turns up without warning?That's all from me today. 

I may post again tomorrow, but if I don't, get over it yeah?

Doctor Who: A Review

Firstly, I would just like to let you all know I have no intention of apologizing for my recent lack of posts, your big children get over it. I am sure there is something you could be doing instead of caring about the lack of posts on this Blog, like watching Jeremy Kyle, getting drunk of seducing fat people, it seems to be one of the few things humanity is consistently doing other than killing itself of.

Anyway, to more important business. Yesterday (2.9.12) I watched the first episode of the current series of Doctor Who, and was shocked, and horrified at what I was forced to witness. The episode opened with the lovely Karen Gillan prancing around on a staircase pouting at a camera (which her estranged husband Rory took the liberty of pointing out later on), and then proceeded to jump face-first onto a Dalek Battle fleet. This bit was where the episode was at its Zenith of greatness, Karen Gillan doing what she is best at, looking good and not speaking, and the Whoniverse showing is a massive warfleet of the most feared creatures in all existence, the Daleks. Then, disaster, Karen Gillan spoke (which I think she says is her 'acting') and the Daleks revealed that they where actually rather soft.

Dalek Parliament

"Its not just any spaceship, its the parliament of the Daleks!"

It was horrifying, my vision of the Dalek race was crushed into thousands of tiny pieces, I looked down at them in utter and total contempt, all the respect I had for the Daleks vanished, and was replaced with a sad and cold truth. The Daleks had a parliament.

Long gone are the days of "EXTERMINATE" and instead they have been replaced with:

Dalek 1: "Permission to speak Mr Speaker!"

Mr Speaker: "Granted!"

Dalek 1: "Mr Prime-minster, is it true you intend to conquer and annihilate all life, when the trade deficit stands at twice our GDP?"

Dalek Prime-minister: "Yes!"

Dalek 1: "This is outrageous! We did not vote for this!"

Dalek 2: "I motion we break for lunch, then vote the motion: This house would destroy all life in the universe!"



Yes, its true, the Daleks officailly have to vote on what to do. Do they invade to universe, or do they build a new orphanage for lost Daleks, who's parents have been killed in one of the Daleks many, many wars? Unfortunatly, the Daleks no longer have an Emperor, instead they have a parliamentary democracy, maybe the series finale of Doctor Who will be entitled:

Doctor Who: The Dalek Expenses Scandle!



Screw the rest of the review, I am stopping here! The Daleks have a damn parliament, its wrong on so many levels, maybe the new daleks where painted different colors for this very reason. The Purple ones are Conservatives, the Red Labour, and the yellows lib dem!

In conclusion, congratulations BBC, you have officially ruined Doctor Who. Shut it down, bring back Russel and Tennant, and actually write some decent story lines.

It was all going so well......




That's all from me today!


Aaron Newbury