Doctor Who: A Review

Firstly, I would just like to let you all know I have no intention of apologizing for my recent lack of posts, your big children get over it. I am sure there is something you could be doing instead of caring about the lack of posts on this Blog, like watching Jeremy Kyle, getting drunk of seducing fat people, it seems to be one of the few things humanity is consistently doing other than killing itself of.

Anyway, to more important business. Yesterday (2.9.12) I watched the first episode of the current series of Doctor Who, and was shocked, and horrified at what I was forced to witness. The episode opened with the lovely Karen Gillan prancing around on a staircase pouting at a camera (which her estranged husband Rory took the liberty of pointing out later on), and then proceeded to jump face-first onto a Dalek Battle fleet. This bit was where the episode was at its Zenith of greatness, Karen Gillan doing what she is best at, looking good and not speaking, and the Whoniverse showing is a massive warfleet of the most feared creatures in all existence, the Daleks. Then, disaster, Karen Gillan spoke (which I think she says is her 'acting') and the Daleks revealed that they where actually rather soft.

Dalek Parliament

"Its not just any spaceship, its the parliament of the Daleks!"

It was horrifying, my vision of the Dalek race was crushed into thousands of tiny pieces, I looked down at them in utter and total contempt, all the respect I had for the Daleks vanished, and was replaced with a sad and cold truth. The Daleks had a parliament.

Long gone are the days of "EXTERMINATE" and instead they have been replaced with:

Dalek 1: "Permission to speak Mr Speaker!"

Mr Speaker: "Granted!"

Dalek 1: "Mr Prime-minster, is it true you intend to conquer and annihilate all life, when the trade deficit stands at twice our GDP?"

Dalek Prime-minister: "Yes!"

Dalek 1: "This is outrageous! We did not vote for this!"

Dalek 2: "I motion we break for lunch, then vote the motion: This house would destroy all life in the universe!"



Yes, its true, the Daleks officailly have to vote on what to do. Do they invade to universe, or do they build a new orphanage for lost Daleks, who's parents have been killed in one of the Daleks many, many wars? Unfortunatly, the Daleks no longer have an Emperor, instead they have a parliamentary democracy, maybe the series finale of Doctor Who will be entitled:

Doctor Who: The Dalek Expenses Scandle!



Screw the rest of the review, I am stopping here! The Daleks have a damn parliament, its wrong on so many levels, maybe the new daleks where painted different colors for this very reason. The Purple ones are Conservatives, the Red Labour, and the yellows lib dem!

In conclusion, congratulations BBC, you have officially ruined Doctor Who. Shut it down, bring back Russel and Tennant, and actually write some decent story lines.

It was all going so well......




That's all from me today!


Aaron Newbury