The concept of un-silenced machines

Firstly, I would like to apologize to any potential readers out there, for this post, as it is the second one I will have made today. I am sorry for taking away your valuable time from eating nachos, and watching the Olympics, or whatever it is you people do.

However, I feel this issue is of great importance, in fact, its so important, I think it might just change the world. Actually, I think it will, years from know I think we will see thousands of people parading through the streets, holding aloft glittering banners that read "Go Newbury" and chanting my name exultantly to the heavens above. Such is the importance of this issue, that I will be hailed in the history books of the future as a saint, a noble prize winner, a being that has done so much for humanity he deserves nothing but praise and adoration.

Alternately, this could be an issue that few people care about, and nobody ever hears of, but still, I would rather think that the first proposed response to this post is more likely. So, know the continuous and frankly dull, monotonous and general wasteful introduction to this post is over, I shall move on to actually explain the meaning of its title.

At the moment, I have a group of builders smashing down the side of my home with large industrial pieces of equipment. One of them (the tool not the builder, at least I hopes so) is repeatably slamming itself into the side of a brick wall several hundred times a minute, with what I can only assume is the force of a small nuclear bomb. This is not the issue, as my home is not made out of Plasticine and thus can resist the futile attentions of a drill, albeit a thermo-nuclear one. The problem is the fact that every time the bearded sun glass wearing phyco who calls himself our builder fires up this machine of brutal destruction, a sound similar to that of a 15 mega-tonne woodpecker having a serious disagreement with a large lump of steel resonates through our quite village.

Meanwhile, in a military base in Russia, Oleg the one eyed assassin has just fired 300 bullets at the back of a (very much dead) mans skull. The sound he made as he whirled his molten death into the back of this mans lower cerebellum was akin to a flap of a moths wings, in the heart of a black hole, covered in cotton wool for good measure.

So, here is the crux of my rant, why is it that Oleg's machine of death, otherwise called a gun, has a silencer, yet my builders drill does not. I am pretty sure people would be aware Oleg was shooting them, when they saw 299 of their friends lying on the floor clutching their faces in pain. However, I do not want to know that my bearded building is annihilating the side of my home, I am aware he is, I paid him to do it, I want to go about my day without hearing the relentless carnage happening. So, here is what I suggest, don't spend all that money on silencers for guns that end life, but on silencers on drills that make my life very painful, and will probably make me prematurely deaf.


Aaron Newbury